Ask me about the fastest way to transform and heal within a coaching session, and I will not hesitate: it is directing my client’s attention inside their own body for information they didn’t think they have.
This type of discovery is like no other. Tuning into the physical body and its memory, knowledge and potential makes it impossible to leave a session and go your old ways.
Whereabout is that wise part’ of you? Is there anything else about it?
A passing comment a client made about a ‘wise part’ intrigued me. I asked these clean questions to help her experience it physically (where it lives and what it’s like).
I hoped this will bring new knowledge, that wasn’t available to this client prior to the session.
I was right. Imagine, just imagine discovering your very own source of intuitive ‘knowing’, located right there in your body, always available to you.
Bringing clarity on what is and what needs to happen next, finding an inner resource, or simply processing big feelings – going inside the body is my go-to for bringing one’s power back.
It’s quick, respectful, gentle, yet powerful and it’s just as effective in every aspect of life.
Whereabout is that anger? What happens just before?
A few short minutes after I asked these Clean questions, my 6-year-old knew where anger ‘lives’ in her body, and how it feels, declaring shortly afterwards: ‘Anger is my superpower!’
It was that fast, effortless and deep. I made a mental note to build on that.
If owned and channeled into changing what angers us in the first place, anger, is a superpower that can change the world, right?
Every feeling is valid, because it brings us information. So is every body sensation.
I wish we are told early on that our body stores our experiences, feelings, story and trauma.
‘What does ‘racism’ feel like in your body? Where does it live? Milagros Phillips
Here I was. Virtual front row at the ‘Racial Trauma and Healing the body and business’ workshop led by racial healing expert Milagros Phillips and hosted by Kate Northrup.
I was ready to know what I didn’t know. The only way to describe what happened next: I learned a lot, felt a lot, all my senses absorbing the history lesson and stories of Milagros’s incredible personal and work life.
Then that question followed by her next: And how about peace? Where is it in your body?
I knew nothing about experiencing racism. As feedback from participants kept coming in, I learned that everyone, including those who live the experience of racism, accessed what they needed in this particular moment to move one step forward to healing in relation to that.
‘Everybody is looking to find peace. Have peace. Do piece. Peace has never been lost. It’s right here (pointing inward.) You just have to access it’ Milagros Phillips
It is not the first time I heard about inter-generational trauma and looking into one’s personal ancestral history and doing the healing work around that specific trauma.
I have been fascinated of the study of epigenetics and how traumatic memories and resilience are passed on from generation to generations on cellular level.
In her book ‘Patriarchy Stress Disorder’ Dr Valerie Rein explains how the collective, personal, and ancestral trauma all women carry become the ‘invisible inner barriers’ to what their soul truly desires and how to break the cycle. Reading it in lockdown opened my eyes to see how all these traumas were being triggered globally and everyone’s nervous system going in collective fight/flight/freeze survival response.
‘Trauma makes it feel unsafe to be in the body’ says Dr Rein, and ‘the head is a great place to hide.’
Have you ever been in a situation where you have done all the work, on conscious and subconscious level – yet, just as you thought you’ve moved on, found yourself right where you are?
It might be because along with the mindset work, clearing the physical body and energetic channels from the stories, experiences and beliefs holding us back, is just as important to manifest what we truly desire.
See, your body is always communicating.
Do you know the way it speaks to you? How does it say ‘yes’? How does it say ‘no’?
Can you hear the whispers, so you don’t have to hear the screams?
(For my type of client, pushing through the ‘whispers’ manifests a list of ‘screams’ ranging from anxiety, fatigue, migraines, hormonal disbalance, autoimmune deceases, and the mind- body connection of these conditions is well evidenced.)
If the above questions left you unsure, here is where to start:
Sit quietly experiencing your body. Get to know it.
If any judgement comes, lovingly let it go.
What do you notice? What do you feel? How is your energy? Is there any pain?
Can you accept your body unconditionally right now?
Ask yourself:
What do I need to do for myself (my body, my nervous system, my heart, etc.) to be able to show up in a sustainable way for the long-haul? (K. Northrup)
Here, right there, that is your list of ‘non-negotiables.’ Now that you know that, what happens next?
Reference:
Clean Language technique is a set of questions, developed by counselling psychologist David Grove in the 1980. These questions are used with a person’s own words to direct their attention to aspects of their own experience